DFLB – Chapter 50

Only when Lu Xun finally broke the kiss off did Qian Wei finally feel as if she could breathe again.

In reality, Lu Xun’s kiss may not have lasted long but Qian Wei felt as if they had been kissing for a century…

All the strength seemed to run out of her and she leaned against the wall while caressing her chest. She looked up at Lu Xun helplessly and gently gasped for air.

Lu Xun didn’t seem to be able to stand the look in her eyes. He turned his head away and when he spoke his voice was a little hoarse: “I don’t like Mo Zixin.”

Qian Wei’s brain was a little slow: “You really don’t like her?”

“I don’t like her!” Lu Xun retorted angrily. After a pause, he finally turned around and stared at Qian Wei, before saying quickly. “I like you, idiot.”

As if a comet hit the earth, as if a snake swallowed a bull, as if dung beetles no longer like rolling balls of dung… Qian Wei’s shock was nothing less than any of these. She only looked at Lu Xun blankly and felt that her brain had completely crashed…

Lu Xun seemed very angry at her dazed behavior: “Didn’t you already know? Why are you pretending to be so shocked? Do you have to force me to this point to be happy?”

“I didn’t…” Qian Wei began to shake her head subconsciously.

Lu Xun scowled, his expression a bit obscure in the ambiguous glow of the street lights. He looked down at Qian Wei, but then quickly turned his head to the side again: “Qian Wei, don’t say anything. Listen to me first. I think I need to solemnly state my attitude to you.”

“Ah?”

“Don’t go too far.”

“Umm?”

“After today, I can’t stand it any longer.”

Lu Xun’s expression was dark, and his mood seemed terrible. His handsome face was completely black, as if it were covered with a dark cloud: “Don’t think you can do whatever you want to me just because I like you.”

Qian Wei: ??? Before right now, I didn’t even know you liked me…

But Lu Xun seemed to have made up his mind to get this off his chest. He didn’t look at Qian Wei’s expression at all, instead, he continued to say, “I didn’t understand it before, but now I’ve finally seen what a ‘Three No Girl’ is. Not refusing, not taking the initiative, and not taking responsibility. That’s the strategy you used against me.” His voice sounded a little vicious. “But I’ve seen right through it! You didn’t just buy breakfast for me, you also bought it for Li Chongwen; you gave me fruit, but also Li Chongwen; gave me a gift of pineapple along with many words of praise, but also did the same for Li Chongwen! Originally, you just wanted to keep a foot on both boats and keep enjoying your happiness, so you didn’t accept or refuse my confession, and just acted as if it never happened. But I’m telling you now, that plan of yours is just a dream. I won’t let you get away with it. “

Qian Wei: “Wait, wait…”

As if he had summoned up all of his life’s courage, Lu Xun didn’t allow Qian Wei to interrupt him at all: “I, Lu Xun, will not accept being anyone’s spare tire. I’ll tell you now Qian Wei, although I liked you before, I’ve decided not to like you anymore. This is my pride and my principle! So stop trying to control my emotions! Don’t look for me again!”

Qian Wei’s heart was full of shock and confusion. What was Lu Xun talking about? When did he ever confess his love to her before now? But before that…

“That, uh… I… I’ve wanted to ask for a while but, since you have decided not to like me, why did you kiss me just now?”

“I couldn’t help it.”

Qian Wei glared at Lu Xun. This was the first time she realized that someone could give an answer like that so confidently, with a tone that sounded so justified that it would even make the listener feel as if such a development was actually a very reasonable thing, as if there was no one to blame. After all, as long as you were human, there would be moments when your self-control was weak. So Lu Xun just couldn’t help it. It was only normal, right?

Meanwhile, Qian Wei only felt that everything had gotten all messed up after that kiss. Her thinking was sluggish and she felt like she was struggling to navigate some tangled maze of yarn. However, among those many threads, Qian Wei still grasped a few important details: “That… when did I not respond to your confession? Or how did I ‘not refuse, not take the initiative, and not take responsibility’?” Qian Wei was a little confused. “I think there is something wrong with your fact checking here… I… I didn’t know that you liked me until just now…” As Qian Wei spoke her voice was full of incredulity and, as if to reconfirm the premise, she muttered to herself, “You like me? Do you really like me?”

Probably it would have been better not to mention it, because after mentioning it Lu Xun became obviously even angrier: “I, Lu Xun, have never taken the initiative to write a love letter to anyone in my life before I met you. I have never been so humble, or ever even dreamed of changing myself to cater to someone else. But I made an exception and wrote a love letter to you! Now can you still say that you didn’t know that I like you? If that isn’t enough, how should I tell you that I like you? Should I have confessed my love to you in front of the whole school or shouted it out in front of your dormitory at night? Didn’t you say that you preferred a more subtle and old-fashioned style of love confession?”

In the face of Lu Xun’s complaint, Qian Wei’s whole body expressed her bewilderment: “Confessed your love? What love letter? I didn’t get it at all. When did you give it to me…”

Lu Xun was still angry and he snorted. “That’s impossible. I sent it along with the flowers. The order was signed and shown as received.”

Flowers? Love letter? Within Qian Wei’s mind those vague puzzle pieces slowly began to fit together, and she suddenly realized: “The flowers on Saturday? Those flowers for my mother were from you?”

“If I didn’t send them, then what? Did they fall out of thin air?” Lu Xun spoke through gritted teeth.

It seemed that love letter was not from Li Linlin and for Qian Chuan, but actually from Lu Xun and for her!

Qian Wei felt like she was a car accident victim who had just been run over by a big truck and then as she tried to get up a series of subsequent vehicles ran her over again and again. Her brain was in chaos and she just looked at Lu Xun blankly.

Lu Xun looked at her expression, and his face turned a little awkward. He looked back at Qian Wei, seemed to want to say something, but held back. However, in the end, he couldn’t hold back and said: “Don’t look at me like that.”

Qian Wei was a little confused: “Ah? What do you mean? Why can’t I look at you?”

Lu Xun turned his head away: “If you look at me like that, I won’t be able to help it again.”

Qian Wei felt stupefied, but then she realized what Lu Xun meant by ‘won’t be able to help it’. When she figured out what he meant, it felt as if all the blood in her body rushed to her face in an instant, and her cheeks began to burn. She didn’t know why but, at this moment, as she stood in front of Lu Xun blankly, unable to say a word, her fingers subconsciously pulled and twisted at the hem of her coat, which was a small movement that Qian Wei would only make when she was extremely nervous.

Lu Xun kept his head turned away. By this time, he had pulled back his arms and wasn’t binding Qian Wei anymore. His hands had disappeared into his pockets and his beautiful face, which had been restored to its usual mask of elegant calm, was turned away so he could look off into the depths of the alley. If Qian Wei hadn’t clearly heard everything herself, she might have suspected that the whole conversation just now was just her illusion after a bout of insanity.

Under the dim glow of the street lights, Lu Xun’s pale face was also faintly flushed. Qian Wei could clearly see the outline of his chest slightly moving under his coat because of his accelerated breathing, and the air between them was filled with silence. Qian Wei somehow felt as if all the sounds were being amplified in the silence, and she seemed to be able to hear that both she and Lu Xun had hearts that were pounding thunderously in their chests.

As the silence spooled out, Lu Xun seemed to have finally regained some of his usual calm. He coughed and naturally returned to the subject: “So, you didn’t get the letter?”

Qian Wei blushed and continued to twist the corners of her clothes nervously: “I didn’t know anything about it…”

Lu Xun’s face looked a bit better, but his tone was still a little disbelieving. He looked at Qian Wei and said, “If you received the flowers, how could you not have received the letter? I repeatedly told the shopkeeper that it was very important for the letter to be delivered. Is their service so terrible?”

“That… Qian Chuan has recently been entangled with a girl who has been persistently chasing him. He thought that girl wrote it to him…” Qian Wei could only give a brief account of the whole story carefully, as she spoke she incidentally confessed some of Qian Chuan’s suspicions about Lu Xun…

After listening to her story, Lu Xun finally showed a look of acceptance. When he spoke, he tried to make his voice sound calm as usual, but the hint of resentment in his voice couldn’t be concealed: “What is that Qian Chuan thinking? He’s really feeling too good about himself! Does he really think that I would ever like him?”

“Well, hasn’t your attitude towards him made a sudden U-turn recently? To tell you the truth, with your personality, if you suddenly show enthusiasm towards someone, it really is a bit suspicious…”

Right now, they were both obviously blushing and breathing slightly unsteadily, but they both pretended that everything was normal and that they were communicating as they always did. In reality, their hearts were full of a mix of nervousness, shyness, and slight uneasiness, but they both still managed to put on ordinary faces as if they were exchanging opinions on homework.

After a short silence, Lu Xun glanced at Qian Wei: “If I’m being nicer to Qian Chuan, shouldn’t that be because of you…” He trailed off before continuing, “Qian Wei, what kind of brain do you have? Aren’t my intentions obvious?”

Qian Wei shook her head and said, “They’re not obvious…”

“…”

“And, actually, you can’t blame Qian Chuan for the matter regarding that love letter. Who told you not to sign your name, ah~…” Qian Wei muttered, “Is there anyone who doesn’t sign their love letter? It’s not like we’re mind readers.” Qian Wei really couldn’t understand why Lu Xun, who usually did things so flawlessly, had made such a basic mistake.

“…” Lu Xun seemed to want to endure, but finally couldn’t help but retort, “It was my first time writing a love letter. I’m inexperienced so I was a little nervous.”

Being able to write a love letter but somehow forgetting to sign it. Qian Wei was afraid that it wasn’t ‘a little nervous’ but rather ‘very nervous’…

Lu Xun coughed again as if to disguise his awkwardness, then looked firmly at Qian Wei: “Anyway, let’s not talk about this. I’ll ask you again, what’s your answer?” After saying that, Lu Xun turned his head and pretended like he was interested in something off in the distance, but his face was a little red which slightly ruined the effect. “That is to say, what do you think of me?”

“Um…” Qian Wei blinked, and then said carefully, “Well, I suddenly remembered something. Didn’t you just say that you have seen through me? And that you won’t like me anymore?”

“You heard me wrong. I didn’t say anything like that.” Lu Xun’s reply was decisive and immediate. Qian Wei was dumbfounded that he would deny it so directly, as if it had been someone else who had viciously warned her ‘not to go too far’ just moments ago.

“…” Qian Wei decided to kindly remind him, “Just a few minutes ago, you said that. I remember it very clearly…”

Lu Xun was a little exasperated: “Qian Wei!”

“Umm. Well…”

“‘Well’, well what?!” Lu Xun’s ears turned red, but his voice became a bit vicious. “I’m asking you out, do you agree?”

Qian Wei couldn’t help but wonder, why did this all seem a bit forceful…  

But Qian Wei also felt as if this were very magical, because she had always wanted to help the future boss fall in love, but the future boss actually fell for her.

Pah–

“Shit, it hurts!” Qian Wei had swung her left hand to slap herself, and she couldn’t help but reach up and cover her cheek with her right hand while mummering, “It hurts so much…”

When he heard the crisp sound of the slap, Lu Xun calmed down and asked, “What are you doing?”

Qian Wei replied with a tone that was a bit ingratiating: “Well, I just wanted to slap myself to see if I was dreaming.”

Lu Xun had a complicated expression and he murmured, “How could I have fallen for someone like you?” However, although it sounded like a complaint, his tone was very gentle. Qian Wei looked up and saw that Lu Xun was looking down at her with his beautiful black eyes, and she was the only one reflected there.

Qian Wei felt a bit like she was living in a dream, or as if she was stepping on a cloud. There was a feeling of unreality, as if when she moved even a little bit, she would wake up or fall from the cloud. Everything was so unreal, and it all caught her by surprise.

“Give me some time to digest this.” Qian Wei tried to make her voice sound calm. But inside her chest she could hear her heart throbbing violently as if she were a terminally ill patient, and she had to press a hand against her chest very hard to slightly contain the uncontrollable pounding.

Confusion, stupefaction, disbelief, bewilderment, all these complex feelings were intertwined with her shyness, her cautious excitement, and her huge surprise. Her emotions were in a dramatic upheaval, like a comet hitting smashing into the earth and casting a brilliant light that shone through all the unexplored crevices in her thoughts. 

Lu Xun, in the end, what did Lu Xun mean to her?

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