If he could still bear it in this situation, he wouldn’t be a man.
But at the same time, if he couldn’t bear it, then he wouldn’t be a human.
Luo Jie hesitated for a few seconds as he vacillated between being a man and being a human, before he finally pushed Anya away and chose to stay as a human.
First he was a human and then he was a man. Anya was destined to be his anyway so there was no need for him to rush things.
On the way to the hotel, Luo Jie drove with one hand while using the other and to hold the drunken Anya at bay. When he finally arrived at the hotel, he was a mess as he half-carried the drowsy and drunk woman inside. A nearby hotel staff member looked him over several times and kept one hand on his walkie-talkie, as if he were ready to call security at any moment.
That staff member then led the two of them to an elevator and they all rode upstairs but, maybe she felt it was too stuffy inside or something, because as soon as Anya stepped out of the elevator doors she suddenly started groping at Luo Jie wildly. Seeing that, the vigilant staff member finally let down his guard and sent Luo Jie a look that said ‘I understand’ before leaving with a smile.
Luo Jie could only surrender as Anya pawed at him with both hands, the whole time thinking about the possibility that Anya would break him into pieces in the morning if he really did something to her tonight. He looked around and saw that there was a surveillance camera above them, so he pointed at Anya and then spread his arms wide, gesturing for the camera to see that this had nothing to do with him.
This way there would be surveillance tapes to prove that it had nothing to do with him after Anya woke up.
“Alright, let’s go into the room. You need to get some rest…”
But before his words were finished, Luo Jie sensed that Anya was leaning over to him, and her fragrance was getting stronger.
As his Adam’s apple rolled, Luo Jie only felt a hot buzzing all over his body, as if his blood were flowing backward. His heart pounded uncontrollably.
A gentleman would sit still in the situation, but what kind of gentleman was Luo Jie? Under these circumstances, he found that he didn’t even want to be a human anymore.
“Since you’re treating me like a man, I won’t be a human tonight.” He said in a deep voice.
Then Luo Jie swept Anya up in his arms and pushed through the door of the room.
Needless to say, after the experience he had that night Lou Jie would often think that he could die with no regrets. Before he had always felt that Anya had completely captured his heart but after that, in fact, it seemed she had captured his whole self.
Although, the next day when she woke up, Anya really wanted his whole self and maybe to dig out his heart while she was at it.
“You… take it easy, this wasn’t my intention, I can explain!” Luo Jie awkwardly scrambled away as he grabbed a nightgown from next to the bed and wrapped it around his body. However, the curtains were not open so the room was dark and hard to navigate.
Suddenly, a vase exploded near his feet.
Across the room, Anya was gritting her teeth and staring at him like she wanted to bite a chunk of meat out of him.
Anya’s face was expressionless. Her eyes coldly scanned the room before they finally landed on a fruit knife that was sitting beside an empty plate of fruit on the table.
At the same time, Luo Jie’s eyes also landed on the knife.
Although becoming a flirtatious ghost under the peony flower* was good, he thought it was better to be a man, and even better than that would to be Anya’s man.
He had to be a human but also a man.
So he quickly snatched away the fruit knife and then bravely began to explain, “Listen to my explanation, last night was really a misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding?” Anya was obviously still a little weak on her feet. After all, she had suffered such a big stimulus so early in the morning and now that she calmed down a little she was so angry that she could hardly stand. In particular, the physical discomfort she was feeling was seriously stimulating her temper. If Luo Jie’s hands weren’t so quick, that knife would have already taken Luo Jie’s life or her own. She would have broken his root!
A man, after sleeping with her, was acting as if he were the one who suffered?
“Really,” Luo Jie tried to explain, “You were drunk in a bar last night so I kindly sent you to a hotel. If I had any bad intentions toward you then let me be cursed to be single all my life! There are surveillance cameras everywhere, and they will prove what happened last night, whether in the car or in the hotel. If you don’t believe me, you can check the tapes to see… I’m not lying.”
Maybe it was because Luo Jie’s words were spoken really very earnestly, or maybe it was just because Anya was physically in a bad state but, after hearing those words, Anya really stopped moving and stood stock still. She only stared at him with eyes like she wanted to devour him alive.
Time seemed to stand still. This was clearly a situation where the one who hadn’t done anything wrong was feeling much more embarrassed and nervous than the one who had.
Luo Jie’s back was covered with cold sweat and, maybe because of that, his silk nightgown slipped off his shoulder and exposed his chest.
“…I’m sorry. ” Luo Jie reached down and put the nightgown back on properly, his eyes timidly staring at Anya, lest she should overreact.
Anya’s face flickered through a myriad of colors, from white, to green, and then to red and, just when Luo Jie thought she would decide to die together with him here and now, Anya suddenly gritted her teeth, put on her clothes, then spun on her heel and left without looking back.
After that night, Anya had to deal with the uncomfortable fallout for many days afterward.
But, she had no one to vent her anger on. She had carefully watched the surveillance videos from that night from front to back and Luo Jie was really right. From the bar, to the car, to the hotel corridor, she forced Luo Jie every step of the way. That was to say, it seemed that she had been the one in a hurry to get laid.
But, did she need to cry and beg him to be responsible for such a trifle? Of course not! She, Anya, was not so naive!
As a modern woman, Anya didn’t care about this kind of thing at all.
She really didn’t fucking care! She snarled silently.
But Luo Jie didn’t seem to agree with her way of thinking. He only knew that he, as a man, had taken advantage of his beloved woman, so his pursuit only got fiercer and fiercer. After Luo Jie’s continuous strong attacks, Anya finally could not help saying those words to Luo Jie on that day when he came to the studio.
“Do I need you to take responsibility? Luo Jie, we are all adults here okay, so will you grow up? We just had sex one time and you want to be responsible for me? Did I ask you to take responsibility? Yes, I know I was drunk that day, and I also watched the recordings. So I know that, yes, I took the initiative, but I never asked you to take responsibility. We can just think of it as sharing a brief night of spring. I don’t think you’re at a loss like that?”
“Didn’t you ask before if I wanted to play with you? Well, now we’ve played and, to be fair, you are in the top five among all the boyfriends I’ve dated, but please be clear that even if I have sex with you, that’s as far as our relationship goes. I won’t pester you to take responsibility, and you don’t have to come to me and give an ‘explanation’. We rolled in bed for one night but once we put our pants back on the next day I am still me and you are still you. We are both adults and we only need to be responsible for ourselves. I don’t need you to take responsibility. And from now on we can be the same as before, two friends who know each other by chance. Don’t be so serious.”
“We will not get married, and I will never accept your love. I really hope you can change your goal as soon as possible so that you won’t waste too much time on me.”
“Your love, your pursuit, they make me sick.”
It was a statement with no room for refutation.
Perhaps those words really were too clear and final because after that Luo Jie seemed to wake up, and ever since then he stopped trying to pursue Anya. And for a long period the two top agents did not interact again.
Everything seemed to be getting back on track, and even the little fresh meats began to gather around Anya again.
A certain fresh meat surnamed Li was only 18 years old, just a freshman in college, but he was like a veteran when it came to playing among the flowers. He pursued Anya doggedly, in a way that was childish and stubborn, and was generally very difficult to turn down. Anya had never dabbled with such a small fresh meat before because she really wasn’t interested if she couldn’t even see the other party as an adult. But this little fresh meat was quite good, he wasn’t those other men who would send flowers or gifts to pursue her, instead, he took Anya out to experience youth.
Today, they went to a video game center, tomorrow, they ate marshmallows together, the day after that, he wore canvas shoes and school uniform and took Anya to a school cafeteria to eat and then watch him play basketball on campus.
On that day, there was a large group of female classmates all gathering around him and jostling to push him a bottle of water after he got off the court, but he refused because he would only take water from Anya alone.
Anya had rolled her eyes and said she was bored and disgusted, but in the end she still gave him the water.
However, gradually, Anya was feeling a little overwhelmed. This little fresh meat Li was just too clingy, no matter what kind of minor event happened in his life he always wanted to share it with Anya. And if Anya didn’t reply to his messages within ten minutes, her phone was sure to start ringing from his call.
Because of the nature of her work, Anya inevitably came into contact with other male artists and various young fresh meats from art schools. However, whenever she walked with another boy, little fresh meat Li would get jealous and extremely possessive. According to him, Anya was not allowed to mess around outside at all.
After living like that for a while, even Director Chen, who she often worked with, laughed and teased her, “Anya, your little boyfriend didn’t come to pick you up today?”
Anya’s reputation was well known to everyone in this circle, so most of the people who were her friends would occasionally say some well-intentioned jokes without any malice.
She immediately smiled back and said, “My little boyfriend is still at school.”
“So when are you getting married?”
“Do I look like someone who is getting married?”
“Since you’re not going to get married then, as an old friend, I feel obligated to say that your boyfriend now is much worse than your previous boyfriend. You should be careful.”
Anya’s smile faded a little. If others could see it, would it be possible that she could not?
Compared with the young fresh meats she had dated before, this new one was clearly going too far. After all, she had made it clear at the beginning of their relationship that she was just having fun, but despite that, this young fresh meat’s possessiveness had gone beyond the agreed scope of their relationship.
But just then, before Anya could respond, a figure suddenly rushed out from behind them. Before anyone could react, the figure rashly moved in front of the director beside Anya, grabbed him by the collar, and then hit him on the bridge of his nose.
With a crash, Director Chen fell to the ground while letting out a muffled groan. He covered the bridge of his nose with his hands and did not stand up.
Anya was shocked but she quickly grabbed the person who seemed to want to continue fighting and said angrily, “What are you doing?”
Little fresh meat Li, who was also angry, suddenly felt someone grab his arm. He turned his head and glared at Anya. “I heard what he said just now. You also understand that this man is trying to sow discord between us, right? Shouldn’t such a person be beaten?”
Anya choked because of those unexpected words, her brows sank and she swallowed back the words she had been planning to say. Her expression suddenly became frosty, and she looked coldly down at the child in front of her.
The young fresh meat still wanted to recklessly continue fighting, but he was intimidated by Anya’s cold face and he slowly stopped moving.
Director Chen slowly got up from the ground. He was the older party so, despite being punched, he did not want to make a huge issue of things. In the end, he didn’t say anything to the little fresh meat. He just looked at Anya, rubbed the corner of his mouth with his arm and frowned.
“Forget it. I’ll go first.” He muttered.
Anya nodded in response.
After Director Chen got into his car and left, the little fresh meat said angrily to Anya, “That man was undermining the relationship between us. You should not associate with such people in the future.”
Stop associating with such people?
Anya loosened her grip on his arm, her furrowed brows smoothed out, and she shook her head with a smile.
“Let’s break up.”
The little fresh meat obviously did not expect that Anya would break up with him, his anger seemed to fade and only confusion was left. He looked up with an innocent expression and spoke in a much weaker tone, “What did you say?”
“I said, we broke up.” Anya replied in a tone that was clearly not open for discussion.
“You’re breaking up with me? Sister Anya, you… are you kidding me?”
Anya looked serious and didn’t seem to be joking at all.
All of her patience with this little fresh meat had already been exhausted by this point. Today’s farce was simply pouring oil on the fire. He was seriously interfering with her work and personal life, so there was no need to talk about this relationship anymore.
“You think I’m kidding?”
Of course, there was no way he would think she was joking because she had never shown him such a serious attitude during the whole course of their relationship.
The young fresh meat panicked in an instant.
“I’m sorry I was wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at him just now, but I…”
Anya looked at her wristwatch impatiently and then interrupted him. “Alright, stop there. I’ve got work to do so, let’s just do this: Don’t contact me ever again. I’ll leave first.”
With that said, she got into her car and drove away.
In the rearview mirror, she saw the little fresh meat still frozen in place, looking staring in the direction where she left, completely motionless.
In the next few days, Anya somewhat expected him to show up in front of her to argue but, to her surprise, the following days were peaceful. It seemed the young fresh meat was obediently withdrawing from her life.
However, just when Anya thought things had calmed down, she received some videos and photos of her during intimate moments with that young fresh meat.
There were ones she recognized and other ones that she didn’t.
Clearly, the ones she didn’t recognize had been secretly photographed and recorded by the young fresh meat without her permission.
“What do you mean by this?” She sent him in a message.
The little fresh meat quickly replied to her, “Sister Anya, are you sure you really want to break up with me?”
What a joke. She had long broken up with him and wouldn’t ever reconsider that decision for even a second. However, just as she was about to block him, the little fresh meat suddenly sent another photo. It was a photo of his ID card.
“Sister Anya, since I’m a minor, are you sure you want to break up with me?”
Anya was stunned and clicked on the photo of the ID card to enlarge it, and looked at his date of birth.
“Sister Anya, I won’t be an adult for another three months. Isn’t it bad for you, an adult, to play with a minor?”
Anya’s face darkened slightly and she slammed her phone on the table.
She liked to play around but she was always very level-headed. She would never extend her hands to a minor, and she only dealt with consenting adults who knew they were entering a relationship involving interests and transactions, but not feelings.
After so many years of wading through this field of flowers, unexpectedly, she was put in a bad position because her partner had hidden his age!
After all, playing with adults and playing with minors were two completely different concepts.
The little fresh meat then sent some more messages is rapid succession.
“Sister Anya, I don’t mean to threaten you with this. If you don’t break up with me, I’ll never tell anyone about it.”
“Sister Anya, don’t blame me. It’s just I really want to be with you. As long as you don’t break up with me, no one will know about it.”
Anya looked at the messages silently, and after a long time, she replied, “Let me think.”
She was being threatened for the first time in her life.
In the past, many directors and producers had tried similar tactics when she was fighting for resources for Xinyi but she had never compromised before and she didn’t plan to now. After all, she had been in the entertainment industry for so many years, so what kind of people had she not seen? This little fresh meat had really gotten in out of his depth by trying to mess with her.
The only problem was that person who was threatening her was a minor.
But then, he was a minor who had deliberately gotten with her to set her up.
Although she was surprised, Anya wasn’t too worried. What she hated most in her life were these kinds of scheming people.
Then, outside her office, a smiling employee walked by the door with a bouquet of roses.
Suddenly, a breeze blew by, and her office seemed to be full of the fragrance of roses.
Distracted, Anya fell into a daze.
Of course, she didn’t bother to bluff or compromise. Two days later, Anya took some men to the little fresh meat’s residence with the plan to solve the matter in the simplest and most brutal way.
But as Anya was heading up the stairs with the men she had brought with her, she suddenly heard sounds coming from above.
There were voices shouting warnings, the sounds of punches and kicks, and muffled cries of pain.
She stood there and listened quietly for a while, but didn’t bother opening the door leading up from the stairwell to check things herself. Instead, she took the men she had brought with her and headed back downstairs.
After heading down to the parking lot, she sent the men she had brought home. But she didn’t leave herself, instead, she leaned against her car and waited for the people up there to come down.
About ten minutes later, the footsteps of several people echoed around the parking lot. Anya looked up in the direction of the sound and saw Luo Jie with some other men.
Luo Jie, who was walking at the front of the crowd, suddenly paused his steps. He stared, stunned, at Anya for only a second before quickly regaining himself and turning to talk to the men behind him. After he said a few words, the several tall men all got into their cars and left first.
Less than five minutes passed and then only these two people were left in the huge parking lot, staring at each other from a distance.
“What were you doing just now?”
Luo Jie raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Your little boyfriend didn’t seem to know good from bad so I was teaching him a lesson for you. Why? Are you angry?”
“Do I need you to take care of my business?”
Luo Jie was silent for a moment, but then he said: “Recently, I’ve been idle, so I came out because I was bored. If you don’t like it then I can just mind my own business in the future.”
The two stared each other down, and the whole parking lot was frighteningly quiet.
Luo Jie thought Anya would say something, even if it was a sarcastic barb, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she got in her car and drove away.
Luo Jie wanted to stop her, but he seemed to have nails holding his feet to the ground, and glue holding his mouth shut. His feet didn’t move and his mouth didn’t open until Anya’s car had already disappeared from sight. He lowered his head and smiled bitterly. Then he laughed at himself and muttered, “I’ll just mind my own business.”
It was a windy night, and Anya drove along the busy road.
This road was the road that led home. Countless streetlights whizzed by and Anya lowered her window to feel the wind in her hair. As she listened to the roar of the car and the wind, she only thought that she wanted to go home. She wanted to tell her mother that there was a boy who was very kind to her, and she wanted to ask her mother if this was a man she could trust for her whole life.
She drove slowly into the underground garage but, before she could park in her parking space, she saw a couple hugging each other in a parked car nearby.
Anya thought they looked familiar and unconsciously her car slowed down. Eventually, she could clearly see through the window and saw that the woman inside was her mother that she had not seen for more than two months, while the man was a stranger.
She braked subconsciously and her car stopped in front of the two people in the parked car.
Her mother, who was in the car, heard the noise and looked over. Her eyes met Anya’s eyes through the windows.
But strangely, Anya’s mother looked calm and relaxed, there was no shame at all at being seen having an affair by her own daughter. She even calmly got out of the car and then walked over to Anya’s window and motioned for her to lower it.
Anya’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, but then she took a deep breath and lowered the window.
“Everyone has their own way of life, and this is how we live as a couple,” her mother said.
Anya smiled and murmured, “So, there’s no one to feel sorry for at all.”
Her mother was young and beautiful and when she spoke, her voice was gentle as ever. “That’s right, no one needs to feel sorry for anyone. After all, there is no law that a marriage must be built on love.”
When she was a teenager, Anya always thought that her father was despicable for having his affairs and she would always feel sorry for her mother. She had always been extremely disgusted with her father for keeping up this kind of hypocritical marriage, but now the naked truth was in front of her. The naked truth that told her that, in this marriage, there was no one who loved anyone else, and no one who had to feel sorry, it was all very equal.
Her car started and the tires skidded across the ground. The shriek of burning rubber resounded throughout the underground parking lot.
Anya suddenly desperately needed to escape from that place.
When she remembered the reason for her trip home, it was like a cruel joke.
All her resentment against her father over the years seemed like a joke.
Her car sped wantonly down the open road. She was in the suburbs, so there were few people, only the stars in the night sky were there to keep her company. She pressed the pedal to the metal and felt the wind rushing through her hair, in the distance ahead the empty road came to an end.
But even seeing that, her speed didn’t slow an iota, and she was fleeing from the image in her rearview mirror, like all the ghosts in hell were chasing behind her. Then, just in front of the sign that announced the end of the road, she slammed on the brakes. There was a sudden and fierce explosion of friction between the tires and the asphalt and a burst of white smoke burst out alongside a shrill sound, but finally, the car stopped safely just in front of the sign.
Anya didn’t seem fazed at all, she just leaned calmly back in her seat and looked indifferently ahead.
However, the seemingly empty suburbs were not quiet at all.
Because suddenly there was the roar of the engine of another car that had been following close behind her. A man slammed on the brakes and stopped his car beside Anya’s, then got out and started hammering on Anya’s window.
Her whole car trembled under the impacts.
Anya looked up and saw Luo Jie’s frightened face outside her window.
“What are you doing? Don’t kill yourself!”
“What are you laughing at?”
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”
“Isn’t it just a little fresh meat? As for him…”
But before Luo Jie finished his next words, Anya, who had gotten out of her car, grabbed his tie and kissed him. Luo Jie was unprepared so he was quickly pressed against the car and passively feeling the sensation of lips and teeth intertwining.
He felt helpless. There was nothing he could do about Anya, because the person who fell in love first was the one who had already lost.
“You… do you want to play with me?” He muttered.
“What are we playing?”
Luo Jie looked down at Anya while still being pressed against the car. “Well, you see, I look good, much better than those little fresh meats of yours. Plus, most importantly, I won’t scheme against you like those little fresh meats. I don’t need anything from you the way those people do. On the contrary, I can give you whatever you want.”
Anya stared up at him calmly.
“You say you can give me what I want, but what can you give me?”
Luo Jie thought carefully before responding, “Resources.”
Anya giggled. “Do I need that?”
“Then what do you need? As long as you say it, I can get it for you.”
“I need you to say that you love me.”
Luo Jie didn’t seem to realize what she was saying at first. He just looked at her blankly, “You… what did you say?”
“I want you to say you love me. I want you to say you’ll love me all your life.”
Luo Jie’s Adam’s apple rolled and his body that pressed against the car couldn’t help straightening up a little, “I love you.”
“I love you.”
“Anya, I love you.”
“I will love you all my life.”
Anya asked him, “Even though I have so much in my past?”
“Yes, even though you have so much in your past.”
Anya looked into his eyes and in the darkness of those eyes, she could only see her own reflection, and a promise he’d sworn to keep.
“If you lie to me…”
“Then let me die a horrible death.”
The hand holding Luo Jie’s tie gradually tightened, and Anya’s heart trembled inexplicably in her chest.
It’s said that the one who falls in love first loses.
But, fortunately, I didn’t lose everything, and in the end I finally won you.
— Anya x Luo Jie End–
tl note: I made a discord. Just sort of testing the waters to see if there’s any interest. You can chat about my current projects or read my gripes about my new projects.
*this is an idiom about dying for love as far as I can tell